It's been 3 years of enjoying my life to the fullest as being single. I remember on the past 3 years that I was once being in a relationship. Some of my friends once told me and believed that being in a relationship was wonderful and fulfilling at the same time... So I try for myself to enter in relationship.
Enter in relationship with someone else was a roller coaster ride for me. Their is an incident happened to me that the person who I loved abused me emotionally . It was a huge error for me to be in a relationship with someone who don't know his limitations and to respect how I feel. I decided to write a letter dedicated to him to tell him how I feel when he abused me emotionally
When I first meet you, My heart starts to beat fast and my body feels chilly. I don't know why I am feeling like this on that time because of I like you so much?.. I just don't know what I am thinking right now. I am so happy that you are the love of my life because I can see that you are very caring and concern to me at the first place..
When we are together, I was thinking if we are meant for each other. I know that both of us have flaws or mistakes but it was okay because we can fixed that and it was part of our life. I thought that our flaws and mistakes can make our relationship stronger.. but I was wrong :(
You become a aggressive, dictator on what should I do and cold to me as our relationship as a moth or a year passed by between us. You didn't allow me to decide on my own.. When we are not together, You've always sending me rude and cruel messages against me ( just to seek my attention). I don't know what is your problem on that time.. I keep on asking You what is You're problem... it seems that you won't tell.
Maybe because you are lonely , bored in your house or You need someone to talk to you to make you feel better.. I am always patient on what you did to me because I love you.. I give all my time for you just to make you feel better but you didn't appreciate or notice it.. You even don't realize everything I have done for you. I thought I am a luckiest girl because I meet a understanding guy like you but I was wrong. Do you remember the day when I get mad at you? punched you on the faced!! because you didn't listen to me every time I explain to you everything and when I help you solve your stupid problem..
And I remember what you said to me " I am sorry, I will never do it again" Oh please!! You never do that thing... I have decided to end our relationship (break-up with you) you want to know what is my reason?? Because you even don't care about what I feel, You didn't want to know if I am okay or not and so on and so on..
Now that I am free from your dictatorship and immature ways. I can do whatever I want.Deep inside, forgiving you was very hard for me. The trust that I gave to you was wasted all because of your immature ways. I feel so sorry for myself because i gave the trust to the wrong person like you. May the Lord help you realize you're mistakes.
I realize that entering in a relationship must be in a right time. My mistake that I've done in the past three years was I made myself in a hurry to enter in a relationship.. that's because I follow my feelings and I am not thinking it wisely. I accept the fact that i made a mistake to trust to a wrong person. But I've already learn my lesson. Before trusting the person, i must know him personally by interrogating him. I am currently enjoying single hood.
I realized that being single, my life become overwhelming. Their where no errors, no intruders on my life being single. It was totally different comparing before ( last 3 years) . I become happier that I could ever thought. I don't care if people telling me that it is more happier to be in relationship. The important is I am just enjoying single hood.
Labels: ... Singlehood ... |
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