People think that...I have a happy life and etc..
..People think that I am.. "Mataray", snobbish and "Suplada" "Maarte"
But the truth is......... I am moody I am lonely I am weak I am not Maarte and whatever it is
U want to know why? Because..... In my life....... I enjoy simple life and simple things which is I am satisfied in what I have in my life right now..
But some people misinterpret it..... :(
In my life...... I have been experience some people hating me. I also experience some people spreads some rumors behind my back ( about 9 years and above).. I really don't know why they always do that to me, even I didn't do anything wrong to them. I heard about this a million times. I can't blame them for hating me.. I just want them to realize that I am not like that.. the problem to them is they just look in my external side and not from the inside.. When they see something in me, They spread rumors to everyone without my confirmation about it...
I just want to tell anyone that Don't hate me .. I admit that I have flaws or faults.. I am just a person who commits mistakes because I am not Perfect!
I know that Life is like a roller coaster which is their is high tides and low tides....It s a big challenge to me I try my best to be strong because i know that God is with me all the time and I know that He can help me
In front of my friends....... I am pretending that I am fine and feeling great ( I just smile a lot)...
To be honest....
When I go home, I just release this pain by crying.. I just can't show this to anyone else because I don't want them to be affected in my problems... so i just keep it as a secret.. Nobody knows what is my problem and I am the one who knows it
People think that....... I belong to a rich family.....
To be honest...... I belong to the poor family
Want to know why? Because me and family don't own a house a lot instead... We usually live in my Grandmother's house for almost 15 years.. My family suffered from my Grandmother's criticisms.. Criticisms like My parents are very lazy and She almost said this to my family that We will never succeed. I really hate my Grandmother a lot. It's almost 15 years I have suffered from her foul criticisms... She treat us like a prisoner and what I am feeling right know is we are not belong in their family.. She even realizes that We are her family, she should help us instead of criticize us.. I have never heard from her saying "I will help you".. Instead she always spread rumors behind my father's back
That criticisms is very hurtful.... I really hate her so much....
I know that My father doesn't have a permanent work and he is ill to.. In order to live longer My dad needs to drink his medicines, My mom is trying her best to work hard for my family.. Mo mom works in the evening, and during in the morning she sleeps all day.. My mom almost cried a lot in front of me because of having a low income in my family.. I can feel my mom's sympathy, I almost pity my mom because of she sacrifice her life for my family...
Almost 3 of us still studying. I almost don't know what to do, I always promise to myself that after I graduate in College...... I will find a stable job and work hard as much as I can which is my goal in life... Financial is my family's main problem.. My mom is having a hard time to decide where we should get the money for paying our tuition fees in school..
That's why those people saying that I am a rich person, their are all wrong...
If only...... My Grandfather is still alive, He will never make this happen... I am sure that He is angry right now becasue of what my Grandmother treat us....
If only..... Someone will understand and accept me for who I am... because I am tired to handle this thing.. I want to give up this but I know That God have a plan for me in my future.. I know that He understands me...
I know that God can help me
Labels: ... Roller Coaster Ride ... |
tinypic
